Failure: I'm Fat
Triumph: I can see me shoulder blades quite clearly no matter what I wear when I relax completely. No strange flexing necessary :P
Failure: I'm sitting at 150 again... Waiting for my stupid doctors scale to tell me I'm fat and that I am not in fact losing weight. As were the rules....
Triumph: Did 100 sit-ups the other night before I crashed, and I'm going to keep it up... Starting to do 100 per night going for 200 eventually
Failure: I can't keep up my willpower. If I see food, I'm just drawn to it.
Triumph: I haven't said I'm hungry in forever... I'm going to do my best to never say it again.
Failure: I'm so hu*g*y... All the time.
Triumph: One less person I know reading my blog... Chiara is no longer a reader... Well she said she wont... And I'm going to trust that she wouldn't totally betray me like that.
New UGW... 100... It's just such a pretty number... And it's a tentative goal, one where I see what I look like at 12- and 11- before I decide...
Eli moves in this next weekend... And then things get easier. No more going out to eat every weekend. He'll buy real food and then he won't want to spend the extra money going out... Which will make life so easy... New goal.. To eat half of anything I put on my plate.... That way if someone offers me seconds....Well... I'm still only having a serving...
Energy supplements...Laxatives... Diuretics.... So many thoughts are swarming my mind...
I shouldn't... But I probably will anyway...
What I really want... Like really really want.. Is thyroid medicine.... It's created to speed up your metabolism if you don't process stuff correctly. Who says I have to let a doctor decide what correctly means for me... It should just mean fasterrrrr.
Contemplating changing my blog address for security purposes... (i.e. people that know me reading, as things are going to change when school starts) I'd post my email and let you all contact me for the new address if I did that. Might have a new name on it also, I also would ask a couple of other bloggers to post my new address on their blogs... I'm just afraid stuff is going to start getting to intense... Let me know what you think lovelies.
I'm drowning in My imperfections.
xxxblakexxx
By all means change ana's arms if you don't like it anymore, though I think it's cute :3
ReplyDeleteyou wanna lose 50 lbs more? :O
ReplyDeletei wanna see what you look like cause your so tall .. could you post a photo?