I just finished my last final. Thank God. I needed to be done with school, even if I only get a four week break before I start summer classes. Its been a stressful two weeks, I lost my place to live because I told Dick's mother that I wasn't sure if I could rent from them if he was going to continue to treat me the way he has been. But that I was still willing to give the first 30 days a shot. And she told me that if I was unhappy I shouldn't even be there for 30 days, so I got my stuff and got out. Sweet.
Good news it, I managed to find a place to live, as of like 3 days ago. I'm going to be living at a fraternity for the summer which is a thought that makes me slightly uneasy, but I can't complain, because now I won't have Dick constantly monitoring all of my eating habits. No more looks when water is dinner, and half a salad is too much for one day. No one will question me. No one will know. Just me, Chiara, and Darcy. But they are in this with me. It's amazing to learn how right I was about the way that Chiara views herself and food.
I decided to go out on a limb a couple of weeks ago, because she's leaving the country for the summer. So I figured if it went sour it'd only be like two weeks. And now I wish I would have talked to her at the beginning of the year. We bought a detox system together. And she is totally motivated to do everything with me. And now that I have her and Darcy, life will be so easy. So motivated. Everywhere i turn I'll have someone to push me one step farther. One step closer to my downward plummet of all that is Ana.
Darcy saved me last week too. I had a major crazy bread craving from Little Caesars. And instead she talked me into driving her to Good Will to get stuff for her apartment. That had the potential to be a 1000 calorie binge. I just need to make sure and call or text her whenever I am feeling weak. It will be so easy to stay motivated that way.
Currently I'm doing a 14-day Fat Burn and Detox. I'm attempting to avoid all solids for one week. However when Chiara's parents come to visit on friday, I feel like it may be difficult to avoid. But then, I could be completely wrong. It all just depends on whether or not i'm invited to dinner. Wait. I have to work. Easily avoidable. But when my own parents visit on sunday I am likely to be royally screwed. Unless I convince them I have already eaten. Should be easy enough. And plus I have to work that day too.
It's weird to think that Eli leaves in just a couple of days. And then I'll only see him every couple of weeks, like all summer. Which is going to be strange after spending around eight hours a day with him for the past six months or so. But it'll be good, well, maybe, I just have to look at it that way so that I don't cry about it. No one will be watching me eat. Except for Darcy. But that'll be good. She'll just be Ana's angel, sent to remind me of what a complete fat ass I am.
I'm sorry for the psycho-babble rant, I'm just trying to include everything. It'll be easier as you know more.
Stay Strong Lovelies,
xxxBlakexxx
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