Jun 10, 2010


I'm worried.

See, I was so sure that Chiara understood. But now, I feel like she understands less, and is trying to choose Ana. I need to explain to her that Ana isn't a lifestyle choice. That if you try and choose Ana, she chooses you. And then you're screwed. I need to let her know, that it can tear her apart. From the inside out and the outside in. It's a vice. The harder you struggle the tighter it feels. And though I'm okay with that. I'm really afraid that she is going to get far more than she bargained for. I just don't know how to convey to her how horrible this could be if she does it wrong. I just feel bad for not seeing sooner. Not noticing that she wasn't already there. I just wanted her to understand so badly.

I'm really hoping that my talk with her last night made an impact. If so, she should be in the clear. I'll support her, I just want her to be safe. And healthy, especially as much swimming as she's going to be doing this summer. If she passes out in the pool. She could drown. And that's really scary. Something, I should make sure she realizes too.

On another note, a far different note, hah. The liquid fast has been successful to this point. I'm going to the gym today too. So I hope that I'll keep myself in the negatives this week. I don't think it'll be too hard. I work tomorrow through sunday, as well as the fact that I work sunday. So fingers crossed I'll stay strong. Even through my parents visit.

Oh!!! It's Eli's Birthday today!! As well as Hope's!! It's really weird to think that two of my best friends would be born on the exact same day. I can't believe that Eli leaves tomorrow. =[ It's going to be such a long summer. Without him or Chiara, but at least I have something to keep me busy. And I'm going to make sure that I am very, very busy.

Quote of The Day:
"If you don't believe in magic, watch me disappear." -Brie Larson

Hope you all believe in magic...

Stay strong,

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