Why does my current weight feel like too much?
Because I'm fat and jell-o like
My back bulges, my thighs aren't good shape anymore
My arms are enormous and soft, like the michelin man
My face is so round
The only thing that is right is that my clothes go on.
Because I want to be fragile
Weight range I could agree to. 125-135
Pros and cons of losing weight
Pros
Look better
Feel better
Fit all my clothes
Can be in photos
Don't have to stress over how I look
Don't want to cry when I look in the mirror
More active
Compliments are nice
IRONMAN training?
Brett thinks I'm more attractive
Look better in a spandex tri suit
Not the 'fat girl' on the team
Faster
My rings fit better
The scale doesn't confuse Eli and I
I can borrow clothes from friends
My mom even compliments me
No overheating
Meal planning efficiency
Saves money
Dont look like a slob with no self control
Going clothes shopping isn't terrifying
No love handles
Uh Cheekbones
Collarbones for days
You are what you eat
Eli can carry me without straining
Feel clean
No fat rolls when I sit
I feel high when the weight drops on the scale
Cons
Obsess over food
Can't eat out with friends/or it takes forever to choose food
Stress Eli out
Miserable at plateaus
Lying to Eli about what I eat
My stupid rib becomes more obvious
Apparently people feel entitled to comment at family gatherings
Hungry
Cold. So cold.
Dizzy
More time at the gym
Dumb ridges in my nails
Hair kind of falls out
Cons of me being myself
Can't go to the grocery store like a goddamn adult
So much of this started with my ex. He gave me my first rubber band. Just snap yourself when you're hungry.
Xxblake
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