Jun 25, 2011

Dear Anonymous.

First off. Let me welcome you to my blog.

Second, next time you comment, don't do it anonymously.. 

Third. In answer to your 'politely' worded question. "i'm confused....are you trying to become anorexic? because you don't meet the criteria but have you been diagnosed in the past?" Since you seem to not have actually read my blog. I will give you a brief overview.

I'm 'confused' as to why you are asking. I am not trying to 'become anorexic'. Nor do I condone it. My current 'criteria' is EDNOS with Anorexic Tendencies. Since I have to fit into a category apparently. If you read the little about me section on the side of my blog, you'd have seen that it says "I want back in Ana's Arms." So there, without reading a single post. You KNOW, I've been there before. Because I've told you.

Anorexia is categorized as the 'intense fear of gaining weight, or the refusal to maintain a normal body weight.'

The easiest way to explain where I come from in this, is to REPOST an old post of mine....

Jun 23, 2010

Response to a comment

I received a comment from someone last night, that I thought deserved a response. It was a comment from someone that claims to have Anorexia, Associated with that was her reference to the fact that medically you must have under a 17.4 bmi to be considered Anorexic. There was the mention that Anorexia isn't a lifestyle. It is a "disease" or a disorder. Or one of a million labels thrown towards it. She said it seemed I was choosing Ana, not that I genuinely was already there. I guess I can understand that, because she doesn't know any more about me than I have told.

So it's time to elaborate a bit. This isn't my first time with Ana. Although the last time was with an extremely abusive boyfriend. He would tell me I was fat, etc. But that I had the potential to be pretty if I lost weight.... And he told me that If I lost weight he wouldn't have to hit me so much. But it was just because I was so damn fat. Regardless of what people think, that's a lot for a young girl to deal with. And that boy, paired with high school cheerleading, led me down a road that I was unprepared for.

I reached a low weight that year that I'm not ready to reveal yet, but It was low... It put my bmi under 17. And although the numbers 17 and 17.4 aren't far from each other, it makes a different in bmi measurements. Basically, I've been there, I know what I'm getting into, I know it consumes your day, and your thoughts. But now I'm already there, and I just want to write, and tell people about it. People that understand, people that are already there, or have been. Not someone who is going to tell me that I'm not what I say, and that I should just turn away. If it were possible, the simplicity of just turning away, no one would be here. And then it wouldn't be ED. I know that this isn't something that someone should ever choose, but part of it consuming thoughts is the idea that once you've been there, you never really make it back... I gained a lot of weight since that abusive boyfriend. And I hate it.

You get used to the feeling of clothes hanging loosely off of your bones. And then you start gaining, feeling the pull of seams when you stretch as you start to fill out your clothes and then outgrow them. I miss being spindly, I miss feeling like a feather. I do miss things hanging off of me, and my goal is to return there, not to the weight I was at, but closer to that weight than the one I'm at. Honestly, because I know I'll be happier, every time I shed a pound I feel an ounce of relief and I get happier and happier. And no one should think that it's as easy as turning away.

However, if any of you reading this, don't understand the feelings I'm talking about, you haven't been there, and aren't there now. Don't read. This is not to enable you. This is to share my personal thoughts. Please don't misuse it.

Stay strong, think thin, live Ana


There really is no way to rewrite that differently. Those were my feelings then, and they are my feelings now. I don't know what you consider yourself, the anonymous 'anorexic police'?

In the case that you can not read, and someone had forgotten to read that specific post to you, then I ask your interpreter to apologize for my bitchiness. 

In the case that you are perfectly capable of reading, and for some reason have just chosen to ask a question with an obvious answer out of your own neglect. Then I have a few things to say...
#1. READ. From the BEGINNING of a story, to get the WHOLE story.
#2. Refrain from posting comments, that make you look like an imbecile. ( I believe everyone is aware that my weight is too high to be considered anorexic...{ Because I am FAAAT.})
#3. Remember what your mom always said, if you can't comment something nice, then SHUT the FUCK UP.
#4. and lastly, but most certainly not least. If you have any more questions for me, you may feel free to email them to me. However you will have to read my blog to find my email. (it really isn't hard) From this point on, anonymous comments will be deleted. So log in if you want to be an asshole. :)


#5. Feel special. This whole blog post, was just for you.



  1. this post is amazing.
    "anonymous" is definitely an imbecile.
    keep up the good work, girl!


  2. Hi! First of all, I apology my english might be not so good..I was looking for some eating disorders informations and I found this blog. I wasn't diagnosed with anorexia but I had problems with food and rescricted my food intake severely in the past. I loved your post "you know you have Ednos when.."because I can totally relate to it. I'm normal weight right now-just a bit underweight- but I always think that I would like to fit in some criteria in order to be able to show others my pain. I lost control over food. some days I gain it back, some days I binge. some days I take laxatives or exercise, sometimes I don't. But I'm afraid not restricting anymore. So I eat alone and rescrict as much as I can. I'm not pro-ana or pro-mia, I mean I search for tips but I don't really give advices to others. But, anyways I liked your blog because I can relate and I like how you write. You seems to be a good person.
    Don't take it bad, i'm not judging you, but I hope you'll be fine. I mean don't let ED destroy your life. I don't really want to be sick..I don't even know if I am. But I don't know how to stop this.
    I wish you the best and I'll keep following your blog the days i'm not studying:)