I'm getting so high off this feeling. I had forgotten what it was like to lose like this.
I'm starting to see bones again. Just a little. But I am.
Problem: Eli comes home for the weekend tonight. The goal is just to not gain.
No more than 2 drinks per night and only if I've already worked out.
I also have a friend coming to visit probably, he's a sweetheart and knows about my Adderall use previously, as he had some addiction issues and I talked to him at the time so that I could hear from someone that understood what it was like to get off an addictive substance.
My real concern is that he'll notice that I'm not normal. It's hard to bounce meals off of people when they are both in the house with you. When I go to school, I ate before I came. When I get home, I ate at school. The thing is, I am still eating. Just not a lot.
Fuck the doctors who wouldn't help me because my weight was normal. I'll show them.
I know the weight loss is going to slow down soon. That scares me, that's when the real games begin. My own sicker version of the hunger games.
Can't worry about it if I'm working out. Off to the gym.
Have a good day/weekend lovelies, I'll likely be back when Eli goes back to work.
xxblake
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