I’m feeling really good about myself right now. I’d feel better if I slipped into the 130s I know that for sure. But one can only hope.
If my fast gets me that far it’s going to be hard to want to ever eat.
@Alex- Thank you so much hun! It means a lot that I could be an inspiration to anyone!
@Ana’s Girl & Lili- I love the idea of fruit days, but I’m also afraid if I start eating anything I won’t be able to stop... Much like the vicious cycle I live in.
It seems I’ve been spending so much of my time thinking about how much I want to be in the 130s and not enough time getting there. I’m having a harder and harder time not making a goal out of this fast. But I know it’ll lead to disappointment, because if I screw up on a goal I’m less likely to jump back on the bandwagon. Whereas otherwise I can just ‘start fresh’ and try and pretend it didn’t happen. Instead of calling it a total loss and bingeing my brains out.
‘If I eat anything, I’ll eat everything. So I eat nothing.’ Personal mantra right now. It makes it easier not to cave.
I came close today though, I spent an hour cooking for my sick boyfriend as well as for my study buddy who had missed his dinner. The mac and cheese with sausage and freshly grated cheese baked in the oven, and the chicken noodle soup for Eli. I wanted them both. SO. BAD.
So I compromised. I took a very fine mesh strainer (thanks go to Darcy for that) and I strained 6oz of broth into a little bowl. Added a little seasoning salt. And gave myself a 20 minute time limit to enjoy it. Ten minutes later, and not even half way through. I felt stuffed and I poured it down the drain. And you know what? 5 calories. I am completely satisfied as well. Hit just the spot I needed.
I was too tired to run as much as I’d planned, but I did get in a good 40 minute walk between classes. Which was okay for today. Today was my weak day. Better to get past the hump and do card tomorrow than kill myself today and cave.
Weight is droppinngggg....
I want to tell you all, but I’m so afraid it’ll go away if i do.
Just poof! the magic is over.
So I’ll tell you yesterdays. My high weight of the day was 144.2LBS, Thats four pounds in a day. =]
The credit given to my body clearing itself out since I started fasting, but regardless, after this its all real weight. =] =] =]
a bit lower today, a bit lower tomorrow...
and the next day, and the next.
Then I eat with my parents for my Dad’s B-day, Then I fast (I will be allowed two apples total) until Eli’s B-day on friday the 10th. If I am successful in this I MAY just reach my goal of the 130s =]
This is the idea, not the plan. I don’t make plans.
Wish me luck!!! This could be really good!!
Sorry for this post being attention deficit. half of it was just to sort out my own thoughts. Thanks for bearing with me!