Dec 10, 2013

One more day!

A little post is better than none at all, right now I'm struggling to get through finals. I've got two done, and two to go (one of those is in 2 hours). Then my winter 'break' starts. Which will consist of me working 42 hours between this Thursday and next Monday; this wreaks havoc on my diet, but I'm on my feet almost constantly which helps quite a bit.

I've been working on my New Year's Resolutions, one of which is to post more often, so I figured I'd get a head start. I'll share my list closer to January when I've got it all figured out. One of my goals it to complete a sprint triathlon which I imagine will be one of the hardest things I've ever done. It starts off with a short swim, then around  a 20 mile bike ride, and then a 5k run all back-to-back.

I think that completing it however would be a great experience and a huge accomplishment. If nothing else it should be great for my weight.

Another new thing I forgot to mention (well not super new), is that I am interning at a place that treats eating disorders. I work with an RD and she gives me diet analysis to do on patients and I offer recommendations on what they should be consuming vs what they are. It is a super interesting internship but I feel like a huge hypocrite whenever I offer dietary recommendations, because half the time doing their diet analysis has given me new ideas.

It's a weird situation to be in. It has always been easier for me to offer advice than to take it and this falls right along those lines.
I'm trying to focus on health, but not even 2 years ago I was at the lowest weight I had been in years... I want back there, but I want to do it in a way that makes it stick. I know that way is by slow accomplishment, but I am an instant-gratification type of person. I want to see results, now, now, now. Waiting is not in my style, however neither is repeating the same damn thing.

So I'm at a crossroad.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm 5'8 and 150lbs. There. I said it.
Now I have to do something about it.

I'm going to make myself do this slowly, so it lasts, so no one notices, so I don't get stuck like this again. I either watch every morsel or I try my hardest to ignore everything I consume. Which isn't healthy either way. I need to find a middle balance, at least while losing weight is semi-easy. A balance where I don't ignore the bad stuff I want to eat, but I don't limit the good stuff. The kind of balance where I can eat as many apples and as much salad as I want.

I'm going to start focusing on my diet, exercise, and measurements. That way, when I kiss 150 and 149 and 145 goodbye, I'll never see them again.

Deep breaths and reasonable thoughts; I can't sink into this too fast or I'll just spiral again.

Tonight I study for my last final, tomorrow I kick my ass out the door for some exercise. But I start watching what I eat again now.

Sorry for the rambles.


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