Jul 30, 2011

I am strong.

No, Do Not Stress. Dizzy is good. It means you're winning. It means tomorrow you'll wake up and see 138 on the scale. And you'll know it was because you didn't cave. Dizzy feels good. You're light as a feather. Empty and pure. Don't mind how exhausted you are. You are still jogging first thing in the morning. Better to keep your mind off of it now. Get some rest. You're going to need it. You see Eli and L tomorrow. They're both going to want to eat with you. But you're going to say I'm eating with Eli, or I already ate. In the morning you only have to run 3 miles. No problem there. You will not eat to satisfy anyone tomorrow. Only yourself. After all, it is your birthday coming up. YOU are the one who needs to look decent. YOU are the one who will be embarrassed if you eat.

You are in control. You will not bow. Nor break.

It doesn't matter that you're tired! Don't you get it stupid bitch?! You are SUPPOSED to be tired. You deserve it. And it means you're losing. All that disgusting, impure, fat. Those jitters, yeah. Those are good. Dizzy is important. Push through it. You're in control.

That run today. You sweaty pig. You fat fuck. So what if it was almost 90 degrees. You deserved to run in it. You wouldn't have been so overheated if you weren't so fat. All that friction, and bouncing. All the extra effort it takes to lug your huge body around. Jealous of the girl who ran the opposite way in a sports bra and short shorts. You'd be doing it too if you had some fucking willpower. Maybe next summer you'll look decent enough to wear something like that...

Doubt it.

Weight this Morning: 139.2 lbs

3 tablespoons of liquid egg whites (25)
1 white cheddar rice cake (45)
1 teaspoon homemade salsa (5)

Shaken Iced Passion Tazo Tea from Starbucks (unsweetened) with 4 Splenda (0)

4.3 Miles (knee brace worn)
60 minutes 51 seconds
391 calories burned

1 cup Homemade chicken and Broccoli stir fry chopped up (150)
3 tablespoons liquid egg whites (25)

In addition. Lots of diet drinks.

Net: -141

You are tired. Because you are strong.



  1. you are so inspiring. I'm glad I found your blog! XX

  2. good job!!keep up the good work, you are an inspiration to all of us

    have a good day :D and goodluck too

  3. Thanks so much ladies! Stay strong, both of you!

  4. Don't these days make you feel like the best? Dizzy is perfect - that hunchy, weak feeling is beauty taking over. Keep these days in mind, girl - you can do it. XOXO