Jul 13, 2011



Fucked up. Absolutely.

I'm frustrated with myself for talking to Eli, but at the same time I’m relieved. I really believe he wants to understand. And miraculously my resolve feels strengthened. Not undone like I had imagined. I broke down crying last night. And this morning, felt calm. I went to see the horse I’m caring for. And he ate breakfast without me. Didn't even ask if I was hungry.
It was amazing. It's noon, I've been up for around 4 hours. And I've only had liquids. I intend to keep that up until dinner. Then I'll keep it light.

I never thought that talking would strengthen me.

I will Not. Be fat for my birthday.


  1. I feel exactly the same, My birthday is in two weeks, but i know already its too late for me, I will still be fat and disgusting then. I've given up, Keep on going xx

  2. Don't give up hun! You can at least make a little progress. A pound is a pound. I have faith in you. =]