Jan 11, 2011

Fat. Disgusting. Worthless.

Ten pound challenge huh?

You had so much potential…

It’s really a pity that you have no self control.

You’ll always be the giant that girl at work claims you to be… here I am, wasting my time trying to help you… If you wanted help, you’d be begging me at my feet…. You did order diet pills this morning…

That’s a start…Not much of one… What you really need to get your hands on is Adderall, that will keep you up for days, you’ll drop weight like that. Who cares if it’s dangerous,

who cares if itmakes you sick… Thin.. Thin… Thin.

You’re buying diuretics as we speak, wandering the aisles, looking around. Hoping no one you know is around. As if you could hide your fat rolls from your friends… As if no one comments behind your back. As if you're actually pretty.

AS. IF.

Only one packaged purchased? Oh, you grabbed two, good you’ll be needing them. WAIT! You’re passing the laxatives! No! GO BACK! You can not leave this store without them. I promise, they won’t make you s

ick, really, as long as you take them on an empty stomach you should be fine. All right, just get more when you finish the laxative tea you have at home.

The goal is to lose 10 pounds as quickly as you can…But more than that, it’s to keep that weight off for a minimum of three days, to rid yourself of this plateau. All you need is me, and some ephedrine, some energy drinks,

and some fucking willpower you stupid bitch.

That's all I'm even worried about, is your goddamn lack of willpower. If you had any, you'd be thin by now.

Then I might actually be able to look at you.

Disgusting Pig. Remind me why I bother with you? Oh yes, potential. Get that razor blade this week, time for some spiritual cleansing.

You need to waste away… I can help you. I’ll make everything better.

Promise you’ll listen to me, and I’ll promise to take care of you. Just a little trade off.

Just come here, curl up in my arms…


Remember... I'm here to pick you up.... Just let yourself fall.

3 comments:

  1. Oh my dearest,
    I can totally relate to you.
    I am exhausted and crying all the time, I am lonely, I am scared.

    I wish I had the willpower, I wish I could buy pills but Mum's back onto me :(

    Love, x

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  2. I used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits!! I would be great if we could support each other =)

    “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

    ♥ Bree

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