Dec 15, 2010


I am so sorry I haven't been updating like I'd planned things have been crazy...

The good news is I saw my doctor today, and he says my weight is stable enough to go a month without seeing him... then I pushed my appointment out another week. So five weeks from now I see my doctor again... And this time I'm going to do something different for a bit. I want to drop just five pounds by then. My head is screaming at me... And Ana is telling me I'm a dumb bitch. But I'm gonna give this a try. Instead of yo-yo-ing around like I do, I'm going to try and get rid of five pounds that can't ever come back. My doctor will see it as healthy weight loss and I can continue to plug along slowly until my 18th birthday. I've been struggling so hard for results that I know I could achieve quickly... But that really is going to complicate my life right now. If I lose slowly and steadily I'll win this in the end. It will just take me far too long.

But beggars can't be choosers... So I'm going to do my best.

I'm sorry for the crappy post, but I'm just depressed... It'll be better... I just need to lose.. I need to lose faster.. But i can't right now.. and I know that.

I'm going to take care of myself. I'm going to exercise even more. And I'll let the weight melt like that. Then when it gets too hard to lose that way, this spring. I'm going to restrict the hell out of me.

My blog posts are going to be sporadic for a while, I can tell.. I just need to help myself for awhile.. I'm getting depressed. Right now I don't care much about what happens to me. Which I never have experienced before...

I'm going to get thin lovelies. I'm just going to go against everything I believe in to accomplish it for a while. I'll miss you all.. But I have to keep my doctor off my back for a little while..

I love you all. I'm going to miss you bunches... Feel free to email me. I'd love to hear how you're all doing.




  1. It'll be okay! You have the control and the power, remember that! Miss you bunches and wish you well. You now get a well deserved break, enjoy it girlie!

  2. slow and steady wins the race!! my friend once told me that if you lose weight quickly you'll put it back on just as fast. i hate to admit it but for me so far it's been true. you can do this