Dec 2, 2010

Once Upon A Time...

There was a happy carefree girl that noticed nothing bad.

Then she met a boy who noticed everything.

Then she did too.

Then she was introduced to Ana, they became best friends. But Ana didn't like the way she looked, and convinced this girl that she'd be more successful if she lost a little weight, and a little more, and a little more... Repeating this mantra of more, more, more... Until that's all that consumes her thoughts. How can I lose more?

And she's trying.

But she's failing.

While she loathes around hating herself for it, the world keeps spinning, life goes on. She approaches new problems with the same positivity she's always had.. But in the end, just finds another disappointment.

I'm not a fan of the holiday season.

It just means another term is ending, and with another term coming to a close, more work to be done. An essay to be writing, stress is piling up and I'm afraid my happy face just won't last me. But all it has to do is make it through tonight. That's when Eli leaves for winter break. That's when I get to pack up all the food in the apartment. That's when I will have four weeks of the right thing going on. It's a pity that more than vacation, starving is what I'm looking forward to.

I feel like I'm sitting in a dark abyss, just waiting to be pulled out. Even though I know that I'm the only person that could drag me out. I'm still sitting. Waiting, for Ana to come save me.

I thought she was always supposed to come save me...


  1. Many hugs girlie. You've got this, and it'll be okay (even if it doesn't seem so now).

    <3 Love yah <3

  2. Oh babes, the end of the year is for some reason the most horrible yet the most festive time of the year.. I know for sure, that you can make the right decisions. I know that you can do the things you want to do, and you know that we'll support you unconditionally. Because even though we're all selfish enough to miss you when you'd get better, and we would sometimes wish you were still here, the same time ALL WE WANT is for you to get better. Something like this, I wouldn't want anyone to suffer from it, not even my worst enemy should have to suffer like this.
    Hon, thanks by the way, I'll email you after catching up on the blogs.
    Looking forward to email you actually, it'd be nice to just fully openly talk to someone who's going through the same bullshit.

    So thanks, I owe you one, if you ever need something you'll know where to find me. :)

    Love, xx