Dec 23, 2010

Disappearing Act

"Has anyone noticed how many people are just.. Fading away? How everyone just seems to disappear? For being thin enough to fade away, to fade away because someone, or something has gotten to them, something that makes them happier.
And yet I am thankful for that, for seeing that there are ways out, to know that these people are offline because they are busy recovering, or either busy with family, friends and lovers. Things that make them happy.
It is comforting to know that these things are out there for everyone, for us, especially for us. The few that are left behind, who are struggling, fighting. Who get knocked off their feet, but climb right back up as we are running towards our goals."

This is a quote from Corrupted Fairytale, and something that has been weighing heavily on my mind... I haven't gone anywhere, Ana is all that consumes my thoughts, but I've been spending too much time around my parents... and I can't afford for them to question anything... My weight has been up and down and up and down... And Recently I hit 155 again... I couldn't cope so I insisted to everyone that we all needed to eat healthier.. I'm down 3 solid pounds since then... Which isn't much. But it was steady and it is gone for good. That's what I need, I need it all gone for good.

Stay strong ladies, I'll be back, I just can't keep writing blog posts at work so I have internet... People are going to know sooner or later... But it's going to be because I'm too thin to ignore... Not because I messed up.

I promise darlings.

I'll be back.



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