Oct 26, 2010

1 hour and 30 minutes... OH Shit.

Fantastic news on the Ana front, stepped on the scale naked last night to reveal 142...
By 20 minutes ago, (12:55pm) I was 143 with all my clothes on...

So I've been insanely successful, I'm sort of glad I chose to dump the ABC idea I had a while back, because I seem to do far better when I don't have a limit, but I just try to avoid food.

On the doctor front, the above-mentioned 143 will probably not make him as happy as it has made me, considering that even with my wallet and everything it's still a weight loss of around 6 pounds... Which I imagine could be considered unhealthy... ;]

It's a pity I feel so good. I mean, I'm exhausted and my stomach wont stop growling, but I'm feeling powerful.

Unfortunately, tonight is pizza night, since I'm working at the Pizza Parlor I'll be bringing one home, however I've been examining ingredients, and have been considering a (for me) half vegetarian [bell peppers, onions, artichoke] with low fat cheese, and (for Eli) half five meat with low-fat cheese. If I do that, two slices will put me at around 300 calories, which is never a bad number when you're eating pizza, unless its per slice haha.

It will be strange though, because it'll be solid. And I haven't had real solid food since saturday, and then all I had was a salad and some bread. But other than that it's been soup and water mostly. I'm looking forward to the pizza actually, I told myself I could have it after my doctors appointment, and then tomorrow is chinese chicken night, which I can make for around 200 cal for my serving, then It will be back to near nothing thurs &fri, and sat will be a fast since sunday I eat at Eli's parents with them and his brother as well. And it would be good for me to be hungry when I get there so I eat like a normal person in front of his brother... More on that later...

Tick tock... I'm getting really nervous... Eli is coming with me this time... Even said he'd like to be in the room. I'm not sure if I'm going to ask the doctor if it's okay, or if I'm going to just bring him in. I'll probably ask about it first though. STRESS. ugh, but it's going to be okay, he wont do anything, he'll just try and scare me again, if I get into the low 130s that's when he'll be concerned.. But I doubt he'd do anything extreme before hand.

Thank God.

I may be wrong, but I'm going to keep trying to convince myself.

Stay strong for me lovelies. It's going to be a really hard day.

xxxblakexxx

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